Howls of Laughter as Beauty Queens Dream of World Peace (with Funny French Movie Titles & John Lennon)
FRESH LOOK: MISS CONGENIALITY REVIEW | JANUARY FEATURE
An unusually cold winter’s night on the French Riviera. The picturesque scenery of the valley that lay below my apartment was covered by a vast cloud of impenetrable mist that the locals call “dragon’s breath”.
I was music-fatigued after a day of working on a novel (I listen to Vangelis when I write) and with eyes too tired to read and the terrace a fog-encumbered write-off, there was nothing for it but to turn to what in the 20th century was regarded as the lowest form of entertainment — the television.
In France, if you’re in the mood to watch something in English (a.k.a. la Version Originale), there’s seldom a broad selection. You choose from the one or two movies or series that are being broadcast, or failing that, grit your teeth and face the countless panels of earnest French talking heads discussing current affairs, civics and politics.
Some present English-language choices include The Love Boat (known as “The Cruise Has Fun” in French), Hart To Hart (For The Love Of Risk) and the original Charlie’s Angels series (Charlie and His Funny Ladies).
If you’ve never heard of those series, it’s probably because you didn’t grow up in the 70s and 80s like me. Who buys these old shows in the 21st century? Somewhere, there had been a meeting of French television executives to discuss why anyone would even want to watch a show in English. English was not French. I imagine a lone, young executive raising her hand and pointing out that there were many French people in the process of learning English and that English language shows might help them. The committee nods sagely as one and then concludes that, in that case, the age of the show didn’t matter and that whatever was going cheap at the annual Mipcom trade show for the television industry, held just up the road in Cannes, would more than suffice.
When it comes to English language television in France, “you get what you get and you don’t get upset”, as my Scottish mother is fond of saying.
That night I settled on the comedy film Miss Congeniality (2000) or Miss Détective as it’s titled in France. Here’s the rundown: After the lives of the contestants are threatened, Sandra Bullock's FBI agent character goes undercover as Gracie Lou Freebush, New Jersey’s entry in the Miss America beauty pageant.
A harmless balm to soothe an aching mind, and to boot, Sandra Bullock gives a great comedic performance. I’ll also admit, as a sometimes science fiction writer, to taking pleasure in William Shatner’s role as the pageant host. Shatner, the original Captain Kirk from the television show Star Trek, always brings his enormous self-assurance to any role, and we love him for that. (Despite his stage persona of someone deeply enamored with himself, make sure to look up his refreshing and insightful article describing his voyage into space on the first flight of Jeff Bezos’s Blue Origin shuttle*).
As I relaxed into the movie, one of the jokes Sandra Bullock delivered really caught my attention. It centers around the beauty queens’ stock standard reply to the question “what is the one most important thing our society needs?” Every contestant gives the same answer: world peace. A round of applause ensues after each identical answer until Sandra Bullock’s character switches things up with the reply, “harsher punishments for parole violators”. The audience falls silent, Sandra takes stock and then, to everyone’s relief, gives the required answer “…and world peace”. Sighs of relief, mass applause, the show can go on.
The implication is that no one actually cares what the female contestants have to say; the focus of a beauty pageant is the physical appearance of the contestants. Anything they say that is poignant or genuinely interesting will detract from that and render a contestant less competitive. The beauty queen must proclaim the most harmless, infantile, naive thing possible, put on a smile and wait for applause.
While there’s no doubt that world peace is far from a simple undertaking, have we truly reached the point where it should be considered a ridiculous, laughable notion? Have we become so jaded that a noble quest to save ourselves and our world has been turned into a thoughtless cliché—two words that no one should ever utter unless they want to be regarded as stupid?
Surely “world peace” should be the first thing out of anyone’s mouth when asked what society or humanity most needs? World peace should be something we take to the streets en masse to demand or perhaps an accepted greeting in place of “how are you?” or “hello”.
Miss Détective led me to think about how deeply this kind of negative anti-world-peace assumption has become ingrained in the different forms of media we’re exposed to. News reporting and fiction in film, television and print seems to have become typically dystopian in character, suggesting that doom and self-destruction are inevitabilities that we must simply accept and come to terms with (in the way that the advent of adorable tiny houses suggests that young people come to terms with the idea that they can never afford to live in normal-sized houses). Well, I’m not ready to give up hope for a bright, peaceful future just yet (or ever).
John Lennon said: Think peace, live peace, and breathe peace and you'll get it as soon as you like. If you want peace, you won't get it with violence. If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.
Years of meditation and mind-body practice have led me to a similar conclusion. If we can develop a sense of connection to something greater than the limited boundaries of the ego and our immediate needs then we can share in a collective enlightenment. Hopelessness dissolves at once and world peace is not just possible, but inevitable.
What can we do to start the process of world peace? Perhaps start with the idea that we have far, far more things in common with one another than we do things that separate us. Relax, subtract fear and our immediate wants, and all that’s left is our shared humanity, and connections between people instantly blossom.
So, as a good way to start 2024, I’d like to reconsider my perception of beauty queens and join with them in demanding immediate and unconditional world peace.
William Shatner's Experience of Outer Space
*: “Everything I had thought was wrong. Everything I had expected to see was wrong. I had thought that going into space would be the ultimate catharsis….I had a different experience, because I discovered that the beauty isn’t out there, it’s down here, with all of us.” Find the full article in Variety: William Shatner: My Trip to Space Filled Me With ‘Overwhelming Sadness’
Bonus Content: Photo-haiku of the dragon's breath below the French Riviera.
‘Le Bateau s’amuse’? 🌺